Ronald Reagan Arises from His Grave and Endorses Hillary Clinton
My fellow Americans:
If it hadn’t already dissolved into its component amino acid proteins, my heart would be heavy today as I come to you to declare that I am leaving the Republican Party.
As putrefied as my flesh may be, it is not as decayed as the party I once led. I do not recognize the party that nominates Donald J. Trump as its standard bearer, as surely as you do not recognize me in this decomposing state as most of my flesh has melted from my bones.
Twelve years is a long time to be dead, and I wish I did not feel compelled to interrupt my eternal rest. I may be a moldering corpse, but even I can see that our republic finds itself in a time of crisis.
“The most terrifying words in the English language used to be: “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” Now they are: “Please welcome former host of the Celebrity Apprentice and current President of the United States of America, Donald J. Trump.”
With the nomination and possible election of Donald J. Trump, we have abandoned our core principles of fostering American greatness and providing a path to prosperity for all. If I still had eyeballs, I would have wept at the parade of divisiveness and hate at my once beloved party’s convention.
As I once said, “If we love our country, we should love our countrymen.”
Donald J. Trump loves only himself. And maybe Ivanka, in a frankly inappropriate way.
We were once the party that declared it’s “Morning in America, ” but Mr. Trump’s vision for the country is darker than the inside of a casket.
I would know.
I have had carrion beetles nibbling on my flesh with more foreign policy knowledge than Donald Trump. We did not defeat the Soviet Empire only for our great nation to be sold back to the Russians in exchange for favorable interest rates on a construction loan.
Mr. Putin, don’t let your friend build his wall!
As unacceptable as Mr. Trump is, the greater share of my disappointment extends to the leadership of the party to which I dedicated many years of service. My spine is now barely held together by fraying nerve and sinew, and yet I still have more backbone than Speaker Ryan and Majority Leader McConnell combined.
If my hand was something other than a pile of disarticulated bones resting in a tattered velvet casket lining, it would give me no great pleasure to pull the lever for Hillary Clinton, but it would be my patriotic duty as it is for all Americans who, unlike me, are actually living.
While Mrs. Clinton and I have significant policy differences, I remind you, that in many ways, Bill Clinton — with his push for school choice, reforming of welfare, and refusal to waste our military resources — has been the greatest Republican president of modern times with the exception of…you know who.
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We don’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.
Donald J. Trump is an asteroid, hurtling towards Earth, an extinction-level event, and Morgan Freeman is not on the ballot.
A vote for a third party is a vote for Trump. A vote for Trump is as unimaginable as a long dead Republican ex-President rising from the grave to endorse a Democrat.
I am unfamiliar with what hashtags mean, but #imwithher.
Thank you, and God help us all.
RR
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
See also:
Trump Campaign Announces New Slogan
